potter87's Xanga

Decision...

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:36:32 GMT

I am so glad to see so many friends responded in my previous post. I've talked to those who approached me and after few days of thinking, driving around and sobbing over it, I've decided to ignore this person. I don't want to say who, but if you noticed I'm being very blunt to you, ignoring your questions, or treating you very weirdly, you are the person. And you don't fucking ask me how I know you betrayed me. God knows what you are doing and he wants me to know how "GOOD" you are. Next time if you have anything that you don't like about me, tell me face to face. Don't talk behind my back, cos I can't hear you. And I don't like people spreading stupid rumors about me. And you don't call yourself close to me. You are NOT!

Anyways, thanks everyone! For being there for me. Last week was really hard for me. And I never really realize I have so many friends who still care. ( Now I am acting like a kid ) Just wanted to express how I feel. Nothing to update actually. Nothing to write~
And I wish SW all the best for her A Levels. <3

Countdown to CF ::

SEE YOU THERE !!

A new chapter

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:44:05 GMT

Yup, it's November now and we are only around 1 month plus away from CF. Have not made any preparations, no mood in cosplay lately. Busy with work and dealing with stuffs around. And busy being the psychology doctor around frineds, but seriously, I think I am the one who needs one now.

WHAT IS TRUST? Wonder what you will feel if you fuond out one of your closest friend betray you ? Someone that you would share your feelings and everything going on with. Remember I always tell friends around never to trust anyone around you even your best friend. 70% is the max. Now I got backfired ? Oh well, I've been thinking a lot lately. And most of the time, I can't sleep. And I feel very heartbroken. If only I can share all this with mom. The pain in the heart is getting more and more deeper. I thought after I settle things with her, life would be better, as I thought the source of pain is from there. My life is ruined now. Maybe I should stop doing everything and concentrate on work + my relationship. Maybe I should stay away from fooling around, playing with friends, going for cosplay, and hanging out.

Will that help me to feel better ? Will I be happier ? Well, we shall see. I have no plans yet, but I plan to pay a visit to a psychology friend. I think I seriously need it. I am getting mad I think. Work is slowly settling down, lots of other stuffs to worry a bout.

I really wish I could just leave this world so that I don't need to go through all this.
I really wish that things are not this bad.
I want to be a BAD person. So that people are scared of me. So that people don't bully me but I've always told myself not to do that.
I want to be nice, I want people to respect me, I want people to like me. Why is it so hard?

I'm sorry I am crapping in my blog again. It's a total breakdown for me.
I wish I can cry out loud.
I wish I don't need to hurt myself to not think of this
I wish I can let everything down.
I wish my life less challenging.
I wish I could tell mom.
I wish I have a shoulder to cry on.
I wish the friend that I have trusted all this while would never do that to me.
I wish I was never born.
I wish I don't need to fight a smile.
I wish I can forget everything.
I wish I don't need to write all this here.
I HOPE THIS WILL END SOON . . .

I MAY LOOK STRONG, but to be honest, I'M NOT!!

oh yeah, just gotten a haircut 2 days ago, credits to chris yap for the awesome job. This is what I've been wanting to have. Love the hair.

Guess I will stop blogging for a while, until things get better.
Take care everyone, I wish everyone the best of luck and have a nice day always.

Cheers ~
............................................................................................................

Astrology ~

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 05:32:37 GMT

Just got back from lunch, pay is out so I went to bank in the check before lunch, might only get the pay next week. Sigh . . .

Had lunch with Wendy, Rabia, Sham and her bf Shuresh (sorry if I spelled it wrong). Sham sham helped generated a chart about me. She's still learning astrology, and I was kinda interested to find out what and who I really is. So yeah, thanks for sham sham, and also her bf for explaning the whole chart for me. I will try to ditch all my bad habbits and try to be a better person.

Nothing much today, just felt like blogging again. Settled chinese stuff, now heading to Y! Nov-Dec bumper issue. Going to stress myself out this week. Definitely! Wish I can somehow talk to boss about it to extend the dateline for 1 day. LOL, but I am sure I can do it. Still have 10% of my costume which is not done, have to go shopping with Ken tonight, (my brother) so I don't think will be sewing tonight. So. . . another day gone. Well, I guess that's about it today. Thanks for reading. . .

Countdown to Comic Fiesta 2009
50 DAYS MORE TO GO!!!

Rainy day . . .

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 05:24:37 GMT

Just felt like blogging, althought I have stuffs to do, just want to spend 5 minutes writing today. It's raining, which makes me moody and sleepy. Today I'm planning to leave a little earlier, as I have to reach UCSI by 8pm. Shio invited the sisters over to watch her Band Finals, and I don't want to miss it :) Need to pick Aster up and head straight, judging by the weather, it's going to jam. Sighs. . . Next week is Y!'s dateline, have to rush again, every month's time is never enough. Finished Chinese Front Page Cover, they are doing bumper issue for Y!, English and Malay Rocket, so yeah, which means thicker & more stuffs to do. Let's ADD OIL~

Friends returned from their Degree course, I've not had time to hang out yet, wanted to meet everyone, I miss the days we hang out. So many things to do yet so little time. Oh well, wish everyone their best of health and luck. And also to all juniors who are sitting for finals, STPM, SPM, PMR, UPSR or any exams, all the best :)

Office is hiring another Junior Designer to help me out, if anyone who is interested, please let me know ok.

Namewee just uploaded a new video, complaining about TNB and I agree to what he says, putting and sharing the video, hope everyone would feel free to comment.

Cheers ~

A little update of my life

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 23:38:18 GMT

Have not been posting lately, mainly because I'm busy with my permanent job, trying to work the best I can so that I can pass the probation period. It's been 3 months now, and my probation period is 6 months. Haha! Quite proud to say that Big Boss confirmed me last Friday! Which means I don't need to worry about getting sacked during this probation period cos there's no more probation for me :D

*Congratulations sam ! (ahahahaha... syiok sendiri)

Next, health issue, I've been sick for more than 4 times in this 3 month period, just recovered from food poisoning last week, and having my monthly "Girl thing" back suddenly, so I am very very very very weak now. *sighs. . .
A lot of stress from everywhere, work, relationship, money, family, friends, and added another burden for myself, my car. I know my car is old, and I am forcing it too much it seems, for an old man to be struggling with the young cars in KL, it couldn't take it and broke down last week. Got admited into ICU and fixed for RM500 ++. Car oh car, hope you'll be in your best of health again !

Nothing much happening lately, getting busier as CF is drawing near. Have not been active with cosplay since Anicom, missed TAF and the next coming one is this weekend, the King Of Fighters. Will be attending and yes I promiss, my next post will come with photos.

Next is Anime Hanabi by Taylors students which will be on the 14th and 15th of November @ Berjaya Times Square, 6th Floor.
There's ACGC on 19th - 21st November, and also November 21st - 23rd, Gempak event and then to

Comic Fiesta 2009 which is on the 19th and 20th of December.

Well, that's about it for now, have to get back to work. Loads of stuff to do. And yeah, for friends who don't know, I am working with DAP Rocket. Yup! The political Party that Rocket. LOL, I've been repeating myself telling friends who asked twice just to confirm & make sure they didn't get me wrong. Anyway, hoping everyone is doing fine. Want to wish Raven a very Happy 22nd Birthday! His birthday is tomorrow b.t.w.

Till the next update~ ciao

Just for SW

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 02:08:35 GMT

If You're Not The One
Songwriters: Bedingfield, Daniel;

If you're not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call?
If you you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through and I hope
You are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you, then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you, then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me, then why does this distance name my life?
If you're not for me, then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through and I hope
You are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray that you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss your body and soul so strong
That it takes my breath away
And I breath you into my heart
And I pray for the strength to stand today

'Cause I love you whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And though my heart is by your side

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

.........................................................................................
I don't mind what others say about us, but I don't wish to hear you say the same. If you really think what others say is true, then just make your choice and decide but my fellings on you is always the same. So take care and all the best for your A Levels.

Bye ~

Anicom 2009 and misc . . .

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 02:37:20 GMT

ANICOM 2009
Here's the RESULTS for all 4 weeks

ANICOM Cosplay Week 1 Winner - Mario (Beatbox), Runner up - Nemesis (Zend)
ANICOM Singing Week 2 Winner - BLOOD + (Shiomaru), Runner up - NANA (Rociel)
ANICOM Cosplay Week 3 Winner - DMC (ZCdave), Runner up - Sanji, One Piece (Shingo Misaki)
ANICOM Singing Week 4 Winner - Gundam 00 Season 2 (Khor Bin Yun), Runner up - NANA (Ping Khoo)

I did not attend all 4 week's competition, only went for 3 if I'm not mistaken.

First week I went as a random photographer in a white wig :D

Second week I went as Sawada Tsunayoshi in suit

Pic taken with Ryukku and also Arisa-chan

Third week I am back to IPOH to get my car down.

4th week I dressed up as mafia / they call me manager ?

Pictures are all in FaceBook, I'm kinda lazy to put it in here, but there's a recent pic that I took wearing Eien's hat. It's really nice. Ahahaha... love it. Just wanna share that picture with you guys.

MY DAILY ROUTINE
Nothing much to update lately, work getting more and more drastic, my to do list is piling up like mad, like mass spamming in the forums XD. Working in DAP, Rocket publishing is seriously a very very challenging job. It's like I'm being booked for every week by different department Editors to finish up the layout and also the various language front covers. And also not to forget, the Youth magazine called Y! magazine. I don't think a lot of people heard of it, when I first came in, they just told me to take over, but there were no previous works at all. Sigh. . . I have to start all over from scratch. Nothing much to talk about work, but the colleagues here are really nice except for some minor case (some people in the office which I am not really happy with, but other than that, all treat me like their little sister :) ) Although work is tough, my life is more or less more boring than the life I had before I started working here, well, the cycle kinda repeats everyday for 2 months already.

Here's the schedule for everyday.

7.45am : Wakes up ( yawns ); head to washroom to get myself cleaned up
8.10am : get dressed, style hair, wear contacts, etc etc . . . pack bags, jacket.
8.30am : starts car engine to warm up the car ( oh btw, I finally got my car down to KL ^__^ after all the fuss taking public transport to work )
8:35am : Head off to pick up Rabia from Mentari Court ( one of my colleague who car polls with me )
.
.
.
.
.
Gets stuck in the Jam & bla bla bla bla . . .
9.25am : Reaches Damansara Uptown, gets car parked and head to office.
9:30am : Starts work . . .
12.30pm : Lunch (1 hour approax.)
6.30pm : Finish work and head home ( stuck in jam again . . . )
7.00pm : Reaches home . . . get feeded with dinner, and faces the PC . . .
8 / 9pma : Bathe
11.30pm : Would normally head off to bed around this time . . .
and the procedure repeats everyday From Monday - Friday.

So yeah, life more or less it's like this. Sometimes weekends, I get part-time jobs, for extra income, sometimes I head home to Ipoh, normally weekends, will do laundry, house chores, clean cars. . . .

Well, that's about it for now, everyday after work I am always dead tired, not really that much time for entertainment, sometimes go for Taekwondo lessons and also Badminton match with colleagues on fridays. Other than that. . . YEAH, MY LIFE IS BORING !! Anyway, I hope everyone is doing fine, and I'm sorry for not updating for so long . . .

moving on with my life . . . .

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 11:41:14 GMT

Just felt like updating a little, but I don't have any agenda to write, I couldn't write about Anicom yet as I have not edit / transfered the images. So you'll have to stay tune for a while. For friends who keep visiting, I want to thank everyone for the patience and also responds. I have not been well for the past two weeks, thanks for the Get Well wishes, I am really happy that there are actually people reading my blog. Ahahahaha... oh well, just hope everyone is doing fine. Updating about 1st week Anicom on the next blog entry.

cheers ~

Happy Holidays everyone

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 05:21:16 GMT

First of all, just want to take this opportunity to wish everyone and each of my friends happy Holidays. Yup, it's Sunday and I am finally updating my blog " IN OFFICE " =___= What a pethatic world. Everyone out there is enjoying their holidays, since friday till monday, and I end up returning to office to work. Sigh . . . What to do, boss panggil, have to come lo. I wonder I'm being paid for this. Ugh . . .

Anyway, just a short update, nothing much happened recently. And yeah, It's been 1 month since I started work. Nothing much to update, will updated once I have something else to post. Just wanna express my feelings on this FINE SUNDAY~

cheers my friends,
miss you guys always ~

coming soon . . .

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 12:49:33 GMT